Tuesday, September 28, 2010
A message from The Professional Muse Society
Cynthia's Muse, here, with an important request from The Professional Muse Society.
Ya know, it's not in my job description to actually get in here and write blog posts for her. It's not in my job description to write anything, actually, but ya know how it is, working with these creative types. They go all moody on you and then ya gotta endure it, like my Uncle Art has to endure his hemorrhoids.
Cynthia, now, she's not so bad. It's not like she listens, or anything, but then ya can't have everything, now can ya? At least she's not snappin' her fingers at two in the morning and saying, "abracadabra," like I'm some sort of genie in a bottle. I've had writers like that, and they are a pain in the tuches.
When I got assigned to her, eh, way back in 2003, I told HR it was never gonna work. Me? A fabulous dresser who never shows up in public without my nails done? Working with a Georgia girl who'd never been to the 212 area code? Who didn't even own a pair of stilettos? Plus, there is the issue of the lack of clothing space for my wardrobe. Been here since 2003, and I still don't have the walk-in closet I need for my feather boas.
But that Cynthia, she's got the work ethic. You'd think she was a little Puritan straight from the Mayflower, the way she goes at it. Half the trouble with her -- or maybe it's more like three-quarters, cuz ya know fractions weren't ever my forte, except when I'm figuring sales prices at Bergdorfs -- is that she won't let me do my job.
She works, works, works, writes, writes, writes. I tell her, "Honey, take a break. Have some fun. Go play. Go get a wardrobe that doesn't look like it comes from the Lands End school uniform catalog, for gracious sakes. And by the way, get your nails done -- maybe a nice French manicure?"
But, no. Who am I that she should listen to me? I'm just a muse that's been doing this way before Cynthia was holding out for three packs of paper and blue Papermate pens for a Christmas present.
People, ya gotta listen, especially you writer types. All work and no play? Not effective. Ya gotta scoot off and play a little -- catch that sale at Macy's, go get ya hair done, try on some sparkly shoes -- so's we muses can work our magic. I speak on behalf of The Professional Muse Society -- hey, I heard that snicker about PMS, ya little pipsqueak -- Excuse me while I chase this shmendrik off this blog. I'll have to finish this advice in another blog post.